Great Movie One Liners That Still Work

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a great one liner comeback to your spouse,boss, kids, coworkers, checkout person and you fell silent, powerless to project the zinger, the ice-breaker, the "I wish I would have thought of..." phrase? Well, wait no more. I have comprised my own collection that I will not only share with you, but also demonstrate how I use it to all the above people in all the above situations. In this era of economic unrest, cultural clashes, and systemic stress for every possible reason, it's time for the more humorous, absurd and happy moments to lighten the burdens. So here goes.

• Lighten up,Francis (Stripes): I used this one so much with my four kids growing up that I have now gained custody of it.
• Houston, we've got a problem (Apollo 13): Great for any person teaching school, especially in lab situations. It lets a student know they screwed up without making them feel like an idiot.
• That's gonna leave a mark (Tommy Boy): This is a great one liner for those times when you look and feel like a klutz the result of which is not a serious injury but an embarrassing one. Examples are falling up the stairs, banging your head on the cupboard door, and tripping over anything in your home or upscale restaurant.
• You can't handle the truth (A Few Good Men): Great to use in customer service conflicts. No company wants to appear as if they are not above board...except Bernie Madow, AIG, and Fox News.
• I've got a brain for business and a bod for sin (Working Girl): No brainer. Working girls use this with cerebral discretion! Of course it really helps if you have a body like Melanie Griffith.
• The "wubby" must go. (Mr. Mom): The description of the tired, worn blanket of Michael Keaton's young son when Keaton said the blanket had to be disposed. Great to use for your husband when his favorite tee shirt has the fourth hole in it or jeans are threadbare in the wrong places and definitely not cool looking.
• Get outta' my chair. (Clueless): Cher's ( Alicia Silverstone) rich father orders Cher's new friend out of the head dining chair. As a teacher, I loved this quote, and used it often. Also works with precocious children who are lounging in your recliner.
• It's good. It's gooooooood! (Bruce Almighty): So easy. Use this after a great meal, great sex, or great anything. Disclaimer. If you don't say it like Jim Carrey, it loses it's effect.
• I had it made just for you, Darlin' (Urban Cowboy): Pam uses her charm, beauty and pocketbook to woo Bud away from Sissy. More important is the song, Look What You've Done to Me, Boz Scaggs...just an incredibly sexy scene. Put that tune in the old Ipod docker and try out that line, doesn't even have to be a custom shirt...cookies, socks, or monogrammed Snuggy will do.
• They call me Cha Cha because I'm the best dancer at St. Bernadette's. (Grease): I don't why this is my favorite one liner from Grease but once you see Cha Cha in that grinding , gyrating dance with Danny, any girl who has attended parochial school gets it.... When to use? Anytime you go out clubbing....everyone in America has seen Grease except Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh (The Bully Twins).
• I believe you Dad, but will Mom buy it? (National Lampoon's Vacation): This is the hilarious scene where Clark is trying to explain away his skinny dip with Christy Brinkley in the motel pool to his son, Rusty. It can be used in so many venues, just juggle the titles or names i.e. "I believe you, Joe the Plumber, but will anyone with a brain buy it?"
• Take me to bed or lose me forever (Top Gun): Great one-liner delivered by Meg Ryan to "Goose". Directions on how to use this one-liner are not included. It's just available for all married ladies out there because it is at once both endearing and sexy. Jeez, that's how I want to be remembered!

Well, there you have it, twelve movie one-liners that are available, time tested, and free for the taking. There are definitely many more memorable movie lines out there, but as I said in the beginning, the twelve I chose are interchangeable with the lives we lead. Go ahead, make my day!